Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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