sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
