Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize