He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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