the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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