i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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