Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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