It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
