it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
