I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
