If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
