So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
