Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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