so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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