you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
