why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
