There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
