Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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