I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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