when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
