i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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