I cockslap morals
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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