He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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