I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Bring me that man meat
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize