you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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