White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
