His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We are all done wearing pants today
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
