Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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