It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
