he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
