one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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