He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
