Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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