Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
