its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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