Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I love you. Go after that dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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