I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
