Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
