i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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