Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
