I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize