will power is for people who don't want to get laid
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
