I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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