my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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