mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
