hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize