quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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