You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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