I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
