Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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