is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
