Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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