Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
