he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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