I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
