I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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