everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
