Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my sisters under your porch take her home
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
