your room smells of hookers.
And success
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
