Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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