well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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