also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
