My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
