It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
