I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the liver wants what the liver wants
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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